To be fair, being ok with a 4 hr commute doesnt mean they dont value their lives & people in it. Id love to get behind audiobooks but I dont seem to read books which have audiobook versions (or at least, they didnt when I last looked)! Ive lived in Los Angeles all my life, and long commutes are a thing here. if florida, ok. Was this intended to be a comment to my comment? Southern California is wonderful, but the traffic is just miserable, but again, it is a trade off for living there. I love driving but I hate commuting. I wouldnt recommend the Blue Line to anyone, not if they had other alternatives. A two-hour commute twice a day five times a week is sacrificing a whopping 20 daylight hours of your week - time you will never be compensated or thanked for, nor can you ever replace it. In first period, kids were talking Man, did you see that flat squirrel near the main entrance? Yeah, it was SO FLAT! During rush hour, it took about 1.5 hours ten years ago. Seriously. But I know not everyone has that luxury. Google maps will give you a range for your route at different times of the day. I worked all week and basically slept all weekend because I was so exhausted. So once in a blue moon, I would hit them all, and when that happened my commute took 45 minutes. ), Coworkers often wonder why we dont move closerthe cost of living is crazy higher and we wouldnt be able to afford it. I found a radio station with bible studies, so I listened to that. The weather is compatible and for that distance it should be much, much faster. Thats true. I hope that youre able to find another job with a more manageable commute! Regional traffic here is almost as bad, but commuting within city limits is much more doable due to the compact nature of SF and a number of mass transit options. This thread has really brought home for me that nobody would live in this deranged city if it werent for the weather :D. And it contributes to the insane housing prices. Homelessness is a big issue on the Metro. If I couldnt stand it Id sometimes pull into the metered lots at the cliffs of HB and go for a walk on the beach or a swim. I hope to return to say more about LA traffic and choosing your jobs based on commute (which can include commuter buses, light rail, and number of alternate driving routes available), but the short version is: dont let your boyfriends acceptance of a long commute pressure you into accepting something that you find exhausting and/or sou-killing. While my to the office commute was short, I did travel alot and the drive to/from LAX was horrible. At my old job I lived almost exactly 18 miles from my office. The freeway systems are less well planned than LA/OC/SD and require many many more lane changes. I did try another of her series by audiobook though and really enjoyed it Indexing. Not that 3 hours as opposed to 4-5 is that much better. Maybe some TV but I would be way to exhausted to make any enjoyable use of my evenings. Your boyfriend can move to you this time. I now live 9 miles from my work and my commute is 45 minutes. Join Meetup groups near your work (book clubs, sports, etc), get a gym near work and go in the evenings. My parents are the same waysmall city folk who come to visit in my mid-size city and are like, Do we HAVE to drive downtown? And when Im home they encourage me not to go places during rush hour, which equals just steady, moving traffic. Be safe. Your feelings are valid and even normal for what youve been through. Now that I work in DC, I leave my house at 6:28am to catch a 6:35am train and get to work at 7:45am, but I take a commuter train and get to sleep for another 45 minutes. Did someone like try to make it that flat? I do change out of pajamas! Makes the journey so much more enjoyable, to the extent that sometimes Im even looking forward to getting into the car for an extended period. They followed on one with a 3 hour commute one way! This wont always be the case, and eventually I will outgrow my role and probably be priced out of commuting at which point I will probably have to move house, since there are no good jobs local to me. (I mean, you can also take the Sepulveda pass but nobody does). The answer to all this is to move to DUBAI. But thats my opinion, and others may disagree. That and sleep leave four hours of free time a day at most, if you call it free time when youre getting up, getting dressed, going to bed, cooking, eating, or going to an appointment. It was an aggravating way to start the day anyway. Good luck! It is GLORIOUS. (Houston area btw). Now I have a 20-minute commute by subway and I couldnt imagine a commute that is much longer. Thats why the end of Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Yes! Now Im going from Kingston to a small town in Surrey, and its nice to be going against traffic most of the time (the traffic is caused by schools or roadworks). One accident in the wrong place and its another 2 hours stuck on the bus. This is fabulous. Those are now considered commutable distances, even though those are far away., OH my Dog! Thats probably a personal preference thing. He is planning to stay at his job for a while, so we are in the early stages of looking to move. I used to commute longer and it drove me nuts because, inevitably, pretty much every Friday night on the way home, there would be an accident. Did 2.5 hours each way in the Bay area. Long commutes come with the booming economy & the sunshine. With a handful of transitional weeks as the exception, Ive had anywhere from a 5-30 minute commute the entire time in LA. Honestly, my hackles go up when one person says I feel this way/have this opinion and another person tells them, well, its NOT NORMAL to feel that way/have that opinion. It was a very frustrating drive for more than one reason. And on the way back, oh boy, it was at least an hour and 15 mins. Orlando, FL. I had to do a 50 mile 1 way commute during a couple of limited stints a little over a decade ago (both from my moms once was for a 6 month internship; the second time was for about 2 months when I was between housing in grad school), and those commutes ended up being 1-1.5 hours, depending on traffic. *Avoid Baxter Street in Echo Park its crazy steep. Ive only done a 2 hr commute when I had an end in sight (I was living at home during an internship to save money, and the second time I was looking for an apartment so I was again living at home). In case you do think about moving: The first worst commute is Valley to west side, the second is San Gabriel Valley to Culver City area, and the third worst is south LA/Garden Grove/LB to anywhere north of DTLA, regardless of whether youre going east or west of DTLA. Once I figured that out, I started walking the 6 miles to work in San Francisco. Just be sure to do a lot of research before accepting a new job. But some of the people that worked with me commuted from freaking Fairfield! Hoping you get another job soon and closer to home! Im glad youre making a change! Moving closer to his job would mean being farther away from mine. Unfortunately that is not unusual for LA. if I wanted to sleep. The patterns would be a little kinder. I used to drive from OC to Pasadena once a month to sell at the Rose Bowl flea market, but since that was at the literal crack of ass on a Sunday, there was NEVER any traffic! Long Beach to West Hollywood seems absolutely insane to me (WeHo is bad enough on its own traffic-wise without the added commute). My folks, who now live in backwoods Michigan, laugh at me for complaining when it takes me (in the greater metro radius of a major city) half an hour to get somewhere, since thats pretty much their minimum drive to get to civilization but theyre thinking of 30 minutes on the M22 with nothing much going on, whereas Im thinking of battling Baltimoron traffic for 30 minutes! Right now my commute is 10 minutes, 15 minutes if there is heavy traffic. Are there poorly placed stops right after the off ramps that jam them up? Mine is 35 minutes. (And this is why were moving when our lease is up, because I can handle 45 min each way by car if it means I get to sleep another hour.). I struggle with understanding why more people on the road means everyone drives slower. Ive lived in SoCal for 48 years, born & raised here. Which also has me worried about what if I get into an accident? I live in a tiny town so my commute is 5 minutes driving (allow 10 minutes door-to-door). Not only are you losing time by commuting, but you may also be affecting your overall work performance. The only thing that would slow me down was if the drawbridge was up (Seriously, a drawbridge on a major freeway). In fact, note to OP, in NYC there are plenty of people who commute 2 hours because they have to in order to afford rent. I dont live in LA, but I visit frequently and have close friends who do live there. I take an express bus, so with traffic, it can be 2 hours one way. If the commute turns out to be terrible, look into renting a room at someone's apartment or house (or even in a nearby extended day or hotel, if that's financially feasible). I definitely have one of the longer commutes in my office but there are a growing number of us who have it. If I lived in a more metropolitan area I wouldnt mind a 1-2 hour commute on mass transit because there would be less stress (not navigating traffic) and I could feasibly check work emails or do anything else on my phone. I used to do Reading-Aldgate and it was one of factors that contributed to my looking for another job. Why would anyone live 30 miles away from work? I used it myself when referring to my 90-minute-to-two-hour+ commute I had. It may be normal there, but it greatly informed my decision to move elsewhere after I graduated. After several years, that got to be too much and left me feeling like I had no lifeand my schedule was way less draconian than yours! Might feel a bit tired that one day but if you can wfh the rest of the time you're more than making up for it. Before the pandemic, it was a two-hour journey on the subway from Hong Kong to Shenzhen. Ive since moved to a place with no public transportation (well, it exists, but its minimal and does not serve me at all), and how I long for my zone-out commute. My commute could be close to 1 to 2 hours on a good day. Its much quicker, more reliable, and less stressful to *always* have a 35 minute commute than a car that could get you there in 25-45 minutes whenever you wantor get you stuck on a bridge burning fuel in bumper to bumper traffic for an hour and a half+! It's quite a chunk out of your day. But I strongly agree that 2 hours is not common in the Bay. LA is 469 sq. And my office is walking distance to the train station. Theyve been working on widening the freeway near my house for the last TEN YEARS in an attempt to reduce traffic, its still not done and traffic is only getting worse. ago He liked the job okay, but he ended up leaving just because he couldnt deal with the commute. I was going to suggest to the OP to bike, but 30 miles would take just as long unless youre a super competitive cyclist (in which case youre going to show up to work all sweaty). Be a comment to my 90-minute-to-two-hour+ commute I had back, OH boy, it was an way! 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