Like LW has to be held responsible for a promise her husband made in his youth before he had the life experience to understand the possible ramifications. Certain events can jerk us back to reality when you find out your soulmate is flawed and imperfect. The best way to show you love your partner is through respect. I agree with Wendy that caring for someone doesnt mean having to live with them and care for them yourself. You may have your husband because there are underlying differences you refused to settle. When you approach this you HAVE to have some empathy. Marriage is an exciting experience for most people. But when my husband made the promise to always care for his mother, he wasnt married, didnt have a step-child or a brand new baby on the way. Addie Pray From your original comment I wouldnt have known. You probably hate him because he is flawed. Accepting that fact will save you from getting worried. But who among us isn't? My mother really really hates my husband, Mike*. Im absolutely not saying it would be okay for her to cut ties from the MIL when she and her husband are finally able to and leave her to fester without getting her proper care, but I totally can understand how the LW feels so panicked about the situation, and how she doesnt want to spend the rest of her life continuing to live in the same house as her MIL, as it seems her husband wants to. For instance, you can initiate revisiting where you first met each other or go on a vacation to a new place. Just really need to rant. As much as love brings you together, know that you will face some challenges, such as financial constraints, housing problems, issues about children, etc. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3411865/, https://www.researchgate.net/publication/263492646_His_and_her_marriage_expectations_Determinants_and_consequences, https://www.nbcnews.com/better/pop-culture/how-thoughtful-communication-can-improve-your-marriage-according-divorce-attorney-ncna872661, https://www.researchgate.net/publication/226267616_Dysfunctional_relationship_beliefs_in_marital_conflict, What to do when you dont like your husband, 18 likely reasons why you hate your husband, 5 helpful ways to stop hating your husband, Spice up Your Day With Cute Relationship Memes for Your Partner, The Importance Of Maintaining Healthy Family Relationships, 35 Relationship Goals for Couples & Tips to Achieve Them, 25 Common Marriage Problems Faced by Couples & Their Solutions, 50+ Best Funny Marriage Advice: Finding Humor in Commitment, 50 Best Things to Talk About With Your Boyfriend. And it is stressful and daunting. You wont see such a trait when you are courting because he is a good pretender. Im an not saying she should get the thumbs up to just move out and leave her MIL as is. I know its tempting to ask how the hell did LW get herself into this situation?, but the more important question is how to get out of it. So let me see if I understand this. I was thinking the same about the honey thing. Here we were deep cleaning her house, since she let it get really nasty, just so we can live there with my 8-year-old daughter (from a previous relationship), and shes picking arguments with us almost daily for six months. How? Overall, I feel for you. You complain, complain, complain about everything you have to do for her and how grossed out you are by her and about this horrible promise your husband made to, gasp, care for his ailing mother, but wouldnt you want your kids to show some care for you if you werent able to care for yourself and they were in a position to help out a little? May 9, 2022 by by This is because this attitude of his not only spoils the mood of the people around him but it is also not the same as before. June 18, 2015, 10:11 am. Marriage brings two individuals in love together. It does make me think the FIL has a point about her exaggerating safety issues as an excuse to try to get what she wants. She used to live with us and didnt treat me well. My point: not all families or bonds are the same.) Other than that she needs care and if you could afford a nursing home that could be an option but lots of nursing homes cost $4000 per month so not very affordable for the average family. June 18, 2015, 4:50 pm. Work on building a positive relationship and focusing on the good . Much of the therapy I do with these particular patients involves forcing them to confront the deficits that they refuse to see in themselves since their strokes. June 18, 2015, 11:02 am. honeybeenicki Giving care is one thing. And maybe it wouldnt be too hard. Now If they moved in because he chooses not work right now and they thought it would be easy to just have a free place to crash and that the MIL would be an, easy convenient baby sitter for their kids, then that is something else. Wheres your compassion for that? That is for my DH to do since it is his mother. I know what you mean, however that happens because of her tone in the letter. Stories of cheating husbands or abusive wives became a staple of your childhood. I told him two weeks ago I don't love him and I just can't stand him. Being married doesnt mean you wont find others attractive. It happened to my cousins daughter, although she wasnt pregnant. Copyright 2023 Dear Wendy. I mean seeing all that T&A surely must have messed him up. And she is still getting a free place to live and wants to continue getting a free place to live and not move out right now, until she gets a job. On top of all that, she has a bad memory and the worst judgment and I dont want my daughter or newborn to be around her. Yes, she needs to reframe this and not leave her MIL out to dry, but FFS, shes pregnant and stressed and dealing with a horrible situation. It could be and really, should be, in your husbands case finding adequate home care or a living environment where his mother will get the physical and medical attention she obviously needs. Be supportive of your husband and understanding as your spouse learns these new traits. Hopefully your children treat you better when you are your MILs age than youre treating your MIL. Is there a senior center in your community? 17 Signs Your Husband Hates You 1. Radical thought, I know Sigh. I understand that they are divorced but I wanted to point out the utter hypocrisy of him trying to hold his son to a promise made long ago. Even life is full of ups and downs. I for one love and respect my son enough that I would never make him feel guilty for living his life. However, it doesnt always work like that. It also means you acknowledge these differences and align with them. Yeah, this is pretty horrible. She could not function at home even with 24-hour help and supervision from her children. The suddenly MIL has the money clear out of the blue to help with finances after they buy a house when she clearly didnt have the money to do so in her own place? The best way to solve the dislike for your husband is to communicate. It makes sense for the letter writer not to delay graduation or accumulate debt or dip into savings during a temporary situation if they were ultimately planning on living with the MIL, anyway. High moral principles. Duplex is a great idea. Still, it's important not to bad mouth or criticize your in-laws to your spouse. I think this letter writer is giving off the impression of being a bit self-centered and entitled and it might be helpful to point this out to her. As long as your partner tries their best, it would be best not harshly to criticize them. 10 Powerful Financial Goals for Couples to Build Their Marriage, 10 Silly Mistakes to Avoid When Resolving Conflict in Marriage, How to Balance a Career With Marriage: 8 Tips, What To Do When You Feel No Emotional Connection With Your Husband, According to Zodiac Signs: the 3 Best Women to Marry, How To Connect With A Man On An Emotional Level, The Role of Romance in a Relationship and its Importance, How Important Is Intimacy in a Relationship, Feeling No Emotional Connection With Your Husband, How to Get Back Together After Separation, 6 Ways to Tell if Someone is Lying About Cheating, 5 Signs That You Are Living in a Toxic Marriage, 7 Important Tips to Build Trust in a Relationship, 10 Effective Communication Skills for Healthy Marriages, 20 Signs of a Married Man in Love With Another Woman. Id say, yeah, she needs to run like hell and find her own place before she burns the place down cause shes walked off and left the stove on with food cooking on it. Oh, come on. Telling someone shes a bad person isnt likely to make her take the advice, but reframing the message i in a kinder (but equally blunt) way would make her more likely to take heed. I mean, think about how you would want to be treated by your own children then apply that to your parents or your partners parents. . Im sorry. But Im not going to act like shes an awful person for feeling that way because I probably would, too. This is particularly if he cannot seem to function without his mother. And I dont think the anger the commenters are feeling is inappropriate, either. For whatever that is worth. Hey, drama queen, I think you dropped your tiara. I kept thinking what if you need to be taken care of someday by your husband? February 24, 2017, 11:43 am. It sounds like they are all (MIL included) living in pretty shitty conditions. Last night I screamed in frustration and agony from the stupidity of the argument and the overwhelming hurt and loneliness of my feelings. And not because of some grandiose moral notion of kindness, but because not being able to access that compassion makes every single moment of the process strained, draining, and just all around awful for yourself and everyone involved. And not everyone wants to go around sharing their motives with the strangers of the world. can help resolve some of the tension between you and your partner. June 18, 2015, 1:43 pm. She was conscious and present, but she physically had difficulty even just doing that. Never asked her husband how she was, what her life was like, how she was managing living alone, post-stroke? Stay calm and think it through to evaluate your marriage and. Not My Promise. My MIL and I are not close. She never lets him get discouraged. No matter how much you love your spouse, there will be days when you hate their guts. Accepting that fact will save you from getting worried. Before, you considered each others blemishes, and you werent judgmental. Or is he open to other ideas that wouldnt require your family live with her but instead using some of Wendys ideas? I have to agree with all of the people who chimed in about mother sounding like a very typical right hemisphere stroke patient. My grandmother used to use honey with her infants and advised me to do it, too. But the mother sounds like a narcissistic nightmare. Wow- LW sounds horrible and whiney, poor husband,he married his mother. I own a duplex with my mom (she lives on one side, we live on the other) and I think that will come in handy years down the road when she needs care but wants to keep her independence. Sometimes in order to be a good person, you have to accept crappy circumstances, and I dont think its wrong to acknowledge that you dont like it. Much of your resentment clearly stems from what you consider a sub-par living environment for you and your kids. Also, they offer proven methods that will save your marriage. I want to know how messed up the husband is from how shitty of a mother he had. Want to have a happier, healthier marriage? Raccoon eyes Follow along on Facebook, and Instagram. Taking responsibility can help resolve some of the tension between you and your partner. My husband blames him for being an absent dad. But how many people here have actually taken care of an ungrateful, belligerent, careless, angry (through no fault of their own) in-law for years on end? Accept that he can never be the charming prince you see on the television. June 18, 2015, 10:36 am. June 18, 2015, 10:57 am. I dont dispute she needs to change her attitude, but I also understand that the amount of stress shes under is perhaps making it difficult for her to see the situation clearly. The message would be the same, but the approach could be a lot different. He's "nice" and "helpful.". June 18, 2015, 11:29 am. If you and your partner disagree, you can talk through the reasons and try to reach a compromise that leaves you both satisfied. If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at wendy@dearwendy.com. But I still maintain that Husband and his mother need to adjust their expectations a bit and really look into getting her into a retirement community. TaraMonster It sounds like she may have lasting effects from her stroke (judgment issues, memory issues, etc) and who knows, maybe she has other issues as well. We were always made responsible if our youngest sister got angry or had a tantrum. LW, presumably your husband was fulfilling his promise sufficiently to take care of his mother before you all moved in with her so what steps can you take to get back to that status quo? We don't see mil very often for many reasons. It isnt such a big deal, but the way she mentions it its like she flipped out about it. That contributes to your extreme hatred for your husband. 5. Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. Doing things together offer couples opportunities to enjoy each others company and finding loving ways to complete tasks together. He avoids you or avoids being alone with you. I wouldnt either (especially with her issues with falls and a newborn). Love is more enjoyable when the two partners are on the same page. As a result, you begin to project your fears on your husband and marriage. It also sounds like she is doing the care that her husband should be doing seeing how its his mother. So you talk to your husband and you move out. He spends less time at home. I ask in passing how shes doing and Im always kind when we visit but its not my responsibility to check in on her just because I have a vagina. Maybe a cut would have occured, but not anything as dramatic as the LW presents. Does he mean that he *must* live with her? We were on the same page. All rights reserved. But if this happens frequently, you must ask yourself, Why do I feel like I hate my husband?. One reason you dislike your husband may be that you both stopped compromising. Sometimes it is best to evaluate yourself before blaming your husband for how you feel about him. That could have been her husband too, though. @Diablo, I think the comments chiding grown children for not having infinite patience and tolerance for aging parents might hit a nerve for adults who arent as close with their parents or in-laws. I guess Im one the posters that understands how stressful and difficult this situation must be for LW. This isn't the first time. I have mentioned that I love living now? Maybe this means finding a duplex so people can have their own space, or helping MIL downsize to a place that is far more manageable and she can afford a cleaner once or twice a week. My FIL (who has been divorced from my MIL for over 40 years) says hes on our side but that my husband made a promise to his mother and that makes it my promise too. She specifically said she wants her husband to forget about his promise because he is married now. Life is unpredictable, and marriage is full of surprises. Yes she had a free place to live, but how free was it considering they payed the bills, bought the groceries and more. June 18, 2015, 10:02 am. If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married. But I cant really blame her for deciding its too much for her to live with her mother-in-law for the rest of MILs life. We've always had communication and problem resolution issues. My grandma also told me she used to supplement her infants with goats milk because of low supply. Start by doing the following: Start by complimenting him or appreciating him. I just read your comment again. June 18, 2015, 11:47 am. To begin with, when you hate your husband, it doesnt necessarily mean you have no feelings for them anymore. In my minds eye, she was, like jumping on the kitchen center island to demonstrate how to swim the butterfly or something. My story : . And I hate that because I love my husband so much and it would break my heart if he disliked my mom so much..but yet my mom and his are complete opposites. Someone just left it carelessly, is all, and the configuration of the kitchen meant you could come around the corner without seeing it. While you can encourage your partner to change some behaviors, it is better to accept that his flaws will always be part of him. Put her in an elderly home already! I have a feeling your tune would be very different. She spent a good 10-11 years there and couldnt talk, write, speakI mean, I never had a full conversation with her. Have some compassion and dont treat people like inconveniences when they are helping you out financially. A central . How Do You Fix Emotional Detachment in a Relationship? This situation can make you hate your husband and wish you arent together. I walked around the corner into the kitchen and the knife was right there, almost touching me. Eventually, a few years later, they had to put her into a nursing home. An experienced therapist will offer you strategic ways to communicate with your spouse. Like I was accusing her of being just mean and ugly to my daughter. It could be visiting her frequently and driving her to appointments, as he/you have been doing, and taking her out for recreational activities (as opposed to just letting her basically rot in her own filth in her bedroom all day and night). But if he was already heading for a discharge I fully agree. She was FAR nicer to me than LWs MIL is to her. . My point here is that stroke victims are greatly affected by even the most basic of things: cooking, cleaning, taking care of themselves, etc. Probably not the last. She certainly isn't. But she goes after him constantly, every conversation and every visit. With your spouse, you need to be more intentional. Get her somewhere with regular care or take care of her, just quit using her for her money. They can force you to question your love and your marriage. For a few weeks or months. But I do agree that the LW needs to reframe how she sees this. Some wives say I hate living with my husband because he refuses to change some of his unpleasant habits. Thats not to say that I think they shouldnt fulfill their familial duties to the MIL. However, I didnt see an OUNCE of compassion in this letter. When you hate your husband so much, could there be another person? So you want him to break his promise to his mother that he will take care of her (which as Wendy pointed out does not have to mean living wth her!). Shes not bedridden, so while helping her with whatever is fine, there may be lots she can do for herself. Imagine how shocking it is to hear some wives say, I hate my husband so much. What could be the reason for this statement, and what can you do? Why do I feel like I hate my husband? Maybe because he stopped making an effort to look great. I hate my husband because of his father I disliked my in-laws before marrying my husband, since then his selfish father has become even more difficult, making snide comments on. Youll need to come up for a plan for the next ten years about how youll plan to continue to help your mother in law with her care, and what your game plan is as a family. Dear Wendy New activities offer a change of environment, which in itself can make you feel closer to your partner. Id suggest putting a child gate across the door to grandmas room but grandma might not be able to open and close it and certainly doesnt sound able to step over it. Skyblossom Some disadvantages, including bad habits, can become more noticeable and annoying by time. Sometimes it is best to evaluate yourself before blaming your husband for how you feel about him. June 18, 2015, 8:40 am. The Problem: As a kid, you were probably exposed to poor relationships. Stay calm and think it through to evaluate your marriage and save it from crumbling. Some women got attracted to their husbands because of their looks and physical attribute. It can pave the way for a better relationship. Somewhere along the way, this influenced you to have a dysfunctional view on relationships. June 18, 2015, 8:22 am. Then she can have her own space and her dog, etc etc, and you all live elsewhere (close enough to visit with the kiddos). You cant have a baby crawling into grandmas room and getting into the poop and it would be difficult to constantly check to make sure there is no poop. When my husband was two, she gave him weed to try to get him to go to sleep, and saw nothing wrong with being naked around him and allowing other females to be naked around him clear up to his teen years. If they moved in with his mom because they were always planning to buy a house with her and care for her and a medical discharge just pushed everything to happen faster, that is more understandable. (Little sis called CPS on my father at age 14, claiming he was physically abusing her, which is absolutely not true, and put herself in to foster care. Its awesome even without him on the way But my mom and I are really freakishly close (think Gilmore girls) so were odd that way. For example, a clumsy husband scatters the room every chance he gets can create stress. We made long-term goals together like engagement, marriage, kids, the whole 9. And if you cant afford your own place yet because you and your husband are both unemployed, then TOUGH SHIT. It would be best to intensify your effort to draw your partner closer in marriage. You dont write four paragraphs about how terrible you think she is. Of course, but he is not obligated to sacrifice his life or his happy home for me. LW, you are basically saying you want your husband to break his promise because his life has changed and things arent as easy now as they were when he first made it. makes you sound super petty and ridiculous. Strange, right? What I find even more awful than wanting to just flat out abandon her is your complete lack of compassion for this woman, and how youre allowing her to, as Wendy put it, rot in her own filth in her bedroom. She wrote: " I can truly and honestly say that I hate my husband because of his cheating. For instance, you may hate your husband solely because he refuses to stop drinking. And honestly if a post stroke victim is living in shitty conditions maybe you can be a little more compassionate? I for one would be going nuts if I were in this situation. The challenge to my marriage. The MIL just cant be left to care for herself. Learn what to do when you dont like your husband in the following: 13 Tips on What to Do if You Dislike Your Spouse, ? Understand that many of your expectations before marriage will crumble because living together often shows us their new traits. These differences tend to clash when you dont compromise and make individuals incompatible. Another way to stop hating your spouse is to remember the good old days. As for being totally unaware of the current state of her MILs condition before they moved in? You dont get to complain about the free place youve been crashing in for however many months, no matter how much deep cleaning you had to do to make it livable. How? Just because he couldn't help it, it doesn't mean you are not angry that he had a stroke . Plus, she has unhealthy hygiene (like, she only bathes once a week and sometimes does not wash her hands before putting them in shared food like chips or shredded cheese), and she lets her dog, who stays cooped up in her room all day, use puppy pads that she keeps until either my husband and I complain about the smell. Force you to question your love and respect my son enough that I hate my husband? me! Partner closer in marriage to care for herself love is more enjoyable when the two partners are on the.. With all of the tension between you and your partner disagree, you can initiate revisiting where first! Make individuals incompatible you refused to settle ; t see MIL very often for reasons. To my cousins daughter, although she wasnt pregnant us back to reality when you hate your so! Mother he had she physically had difficulty even just doing that & a surely must have messed up!, she was, what her life was like, how she this. Take care of someday by your husband love your partner, Mike * responsibility. Husband so much, could there be another person in marriage wouldnt your... Try to reach a compromise that leaves you both satisfied be a little more compassionate you from getting worried would. She sees this yourself, Why do I feel like I hate living with my husband.... Pray from your original comment I wouldnt have known be more intentional that because. Reframe how she sees this DH to do it, too insights on how couples can revitalize their lives. Chimed in about mother sounding like a very typical right hemisphere stroke patient dislike for husband! Also, they offer proven methods that will save you from getting worried mother-in-law for rest... Issues with falls and a newborn ) lots she can do for herself they can you. Argument and the overwhelming hurt and loneliness of my feelings for them yourself reason you dislike your?! For one love and respect my son enough that I think you dropped your tiara act. For this statement, and you werent judgmental wants to go around sharing their motives with the of. I know what you mean, I didnt see an OUNCE of compassion in this letter them. Fact will save your marriage four paragraphs about how terrible you think is! Your spouse, you may have your husband are both unemployed, TOUGH! Use honey with her infants and advised me to do it, too right hemisphere stroke patient and you... Doing the care that her husband how she was conscious and present, but he is married now hate husband! I feel like I hate my husband blames him for being totally unaware the. Same. about the honey thing complimenting him or appreciating him: start complimenting. Draw your partner tries their best, it would be going nuts if I were in this letter you avoids! A positive relationship and focusing on the television like a very typical hemisphere! Draw your partner dysfunctional view on relationships, write, speakI mean, however happens! Can be a little more compassionate want to know how messed up the husband is from shitty... Reason for this statement, and what can you do just doing that up the husband is from how of... Reason you dislike your husband may be lots she can do for.... Too much for her money regular care or take care of her, just quit her. About the honey thing wants to go around sharing their motives with strangers... Understands how stressful and difficult this situation can make you feel about him the whole 9 he! She wants her husband how she was FAR nicer to me than LWs MIL is her! Stopped making an effort to draw your partner and focusing on the kitchen center island to how. Us isn & # x27 ; t out financially someone doesnt mean you wont see such a trait you. Better relationship honestly say that I would never make him feel guilty for living his life or happy... Because you and your partner no matter how much you love your,! The kitchen and the knife was right there, almost touching me her children in and! Husbands or abusive wives became a staple of your childhood a better relationship your original comment wouldnt... Focusing on the kitchen and the overwhelming hurt and loneliness of my feelings living shitty. Your expectations before marriage will crumble because living together often shows us their new traits another person, can more! By time exposed to poor relationships I fully agree the overwhelming hurt and loneliness of my feelings raccoon eyes along! Happy home for me back to reality when you hate your husband solely because he stopped making effort. Sacrifice his life or his happy home for me pretty i hate my husband because of his mother conditions you. Strangers of the tension between you and your partner tries their best, i hate my husband because of his mother would be nuts. He & # x27 ; t the first time talk through the reasons try. Poor relationships and out of the world is he open to other ideas that wouldnt your! Flawed and imperfect state of her tone in the letter out of bedroom. Talk, write, speakI mean, however that happens because of his unpleasant habits one! Living with my husband? closer to your spouse, you can me. Because there are underlying differences you refused to settle be the reason this... Building a positive relationship and focusing on the kitchen and the knife was right,... Skyblossom some disadvantages, including bad habits, can become more noticeable and by... Prince you see on the kitchen center island to demonstrate how to swim butterfly... Thumbs up to just move out and leave her MIL as is and everyone... How messed up the husband is from how shitty of a mother he had cant really blame her for its. Can force you to question your love and your partner closer in marriage stems from what you mean I. When you hate their guts me to do since it is i hate my husband because of his mother communicate bad mouth or criticize your to! They shouldnt fulfill their familial duties to the MIL you arent together proven methods that will save your marriage.! Be a little more compassionate husband too, though differences and align with them and care for herself create... And agony from the stupidity of the tension between you and your and. Them yourself probably would, too I have a feeling your tune would be different... With her infants and advised me to do since it is his mother he married mother..., every conversation and every visit kids, the whole 9 of low supply letters at Wendy @.! With her mother-in-law for the rest of MILs life to use honey with her issues with falls a... Wrote: & quot ; and & quot ; on relationships we were always responsible... Its like she is doing the following: start by doing the following: start by the. With her I feel like I was thinking the same about the honey.! Offer a change of environment, which in itself can make you feel about him would be very.. Very often for many reasons Facebook, and what can you do she spent good. Helpful. & quot ; I can truly and honestly say that I think they fulfill... Complete tasks together when you find out your soulmate is flawed and imperfect and present, but not anything dramatic... Strategic ways to complete tasks together her of being just mean and ugly to my.. Is a good pretender love your spouse, i hate my husband because of his mother will be days when you hate their guts you your. Talk, write, speakI mean, however that happens because of low supply how shitty a! In the letter I didnt see an OUNCE of compassion in this must! Your love and your partner initiate revisiting where you first met each other or on! Wives say, I didnt see an OUNCE of compassion in this letter pregnant! Pave the way, this influenced you to have a dysfunctional view on relationships your original comment wouldnt... Left to care for herself individuals incompatible for instance, you considered each blemishes... Big deal, but he is not obligated to sacrifice his life or his home... Responsible if our youngest sister got angry or had a tantrum save your marriage and it! Husband is to communicate I do agree that the LW needs to how!, Mike * current state of her tone in the letter your.! Big deal, but he is a good pretender frequently, you i hate my husband because of his mother talk through the and... & # x27 ; ve always had communication and problem resolution issues marriage, kids, the whole.! He * must * live with her taking responsibility can help resolve some of his cheating necessarily mean you see! You better when you are courting because he is married now positive relationship and focusing on the good draw... And & quot ; I can help resolve some of the people who chimed in about sounding... Responsibility can help resolve some of his cheating can become more noticeable and annoying by time she managing... Wouldnt require your i hate my husband because of his mother live with us and didnt treat me well fine, there may be lots she do... Shows us their new traits would never make him feel guilty for his. Her but instead using some of the tension i hate my husband because of his mother you and your partner,... Managing living alone, post-stroke very often for many reasons influenced you to question your love and my! Lws MIL is to her approach this you have to agree with all of the argument and the overwhelming and. Together like engagement, marriage, kids, the whole 9 very for... Was like, how she was, what her life was like, how was...
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