Mothers should consider speaking to their sons about whats happening and why its not OK for them to treat them this way. Set Healthy Boundaries; Work on Communication; Own Any Mistakes You've Made; Be Patient and Don't Hold a Grudge According to HUD, on any given night there's an estimated 580,000 homeless people, a staggering number, so what do you do when your son is one of them? They are toxic people and you can't change them. eval(ez_write_tag([[120,600],'ciprofamily_com-box-4','ezslot_13',197,'0','0']));eval(ez_write_tag([[120,600],'ciprofamily_com-box-4','ezslot_14',197,'0','1']));.box-4-multi-197{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:15px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:15px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:600px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}This article will explore the reasons why some sons treat their mothers poorly and offer advice on how to break the cycle. Renowned clinical psychologist and respected university professor, Jordan B. Peterson, has addressed the mother-son relationship extensively via professional talks and books. So when mothers arent there for their sons anymore, when theyre finally letting their sons handle things on their own, it can seem like they are trying to take over their sons life again by telling them what not to do or criticizing their choices. They're also hurting their mothers, who are often the closest people to them in the world. My Son Is Homeless (Facing Difficult Choices). If you see your mother treating her son differently than her daughters, thats a red flag. Something a lot of parents feel like they cant do in front of their kids is own up to making mistakes and potentially looking anything less than perfect. You might have heard the old saying, Mother knows best. But why do some sons have difficulty listening to or respecting their mothers? A study of more than 1,000 mothers estranged from their adult children found that nearly 80% believed that an ex-husband or their son- or daughter-in-law had turned their children against them. Males in particular have a higher rate of diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder than females.This is a very helpful video for those wanting to begin to understand these disorders. That might sound strange, but it makes sense, considering how much time mothers spend helping their sons grow up. This is the more difficult kind of mother-son relationship to repair. Simple 3-Minute Meditation Script Thatll Change Your Life! Related Heres how to set boundaries for your in-laws. Lastly, if you want your son to grow up to be a responsible adult, it is important that you respect him as an adult. It is crucial that you give your son enough room to make mistakes and learn from them. Treating her with disrespect or contempt. Here are some of the reasons behind sons who treat their mothers poorly and tips on how to tackle this issue: Young men can have a lot of emotional issues, its part of growing up and handling relationships, and dealing with experiences. It is also considered a normal way of parenting for mothers who have endured the same behavior from their own mothers. If the children do not meet their expectations, they usually punish them with harsh words or even physical violence. However, there are some points that mothers need to keep in mind so that they do not make their sons resent them later on. The mother-son relationship is complex and often influenced by media depictions of what it means to be a man. Your son is not the only one who has ever done thisand he wont be the last. When a son mistreats his mother, it can be hard to know how to respond. The sons actions can include: Sons who treat their mothers poorly arent just hurting themselves. But if you grew up in an unhealthy family, you might have noticed that your own mother gave your sister more freedom than you, or she was much more controlling over them. Sometimes, this is because they grew up in a time or culture that didnt value showing love out in the open. Some mothers favor certain children over others, and sometimes, it can be a bad relationship. This kind of behavior can hurt the sons mental health and affect his life as an adult. __CONFIG_colors_palette__{"active_palette":0,"config":{"colors":{"6cd47":{"name":"Main Accent","parent":-1}},"gradients":[]},"palettes":[{"name":"Default","value":{"colors":{"6cd47":{"val":"var(--tcb-skin-color-0)","hsl":{"h":2,"s":0.8436,"l":0.01,"a":1}}},"gradients":[]},"original":{"colors":{"6cd47":{"val":"rgb(47, 138, 229)","hsl":{"h":210,"s":0.77,"l":0.54,"a":1}}},"gradients":[]}}]}__CONFIG_colors_palette__, {"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}, __CONFIG_colors_palette__{"active_palette":0,"config":{"colors":{"f3080":{"name":"Main Accent","parent":-1},"f2bba":{"name":"Main Light 10","parent":"f3080"},"trewq":{"name":"Main Light 30","parent":"f3080"},"poiuy":{"name":"Main Light 80","parent":"f3080"},"f83d7":{"name":"Main Light 80","parent":"f3080"},"frty6":{"name":"Main Light 45","parent":"f3080"},"flktr":{"name":"Main Light 80","parent":"f3080"}},"gradients":[]},"palettes":[{"name":"Default","value":{"colors":{"f3080":{"val":"rgb(23, 23, 22)"},"f2bba":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.5)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}},"trewq":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.7)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}},"poiuy":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.35)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}},"f83d7":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.4)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}},"frty6":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.2)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}},"flktr":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.8)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}}},"gradients":[]},"original":{"colors":{"f3080":{"val":"rgb(23, 23, 22)","hsl":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09}},"f2bba":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.5)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.5}},"trewq":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.7)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.7}},"poiuy":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.35)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.35}},"f83d7":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.4)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.4}},"frty6":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.2)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.2}},"flktr":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.8)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.8}}},"gradients":[]}}]}__CONFIG_colors_palette__, What to Know About Sons Who Treat Their Mothers Poorly: Forging A Path To A Mutually Respectful Relationship, Tell-tale signs of an unhealthy mother-son relationship, Controlling mother or an overbearing mother, Physical or mental abuse from other people or the abusive mother herself, Influenced by the medias bad boy behavior, Son has a toxic relationship with a romantic partner, with his peers, or with a dysfunctional family, The mother treats her daughters differently, How To Create A Healthy Mother-Son Relationship, Be Open And Honest About Your Own Mistakes, Dont Get Overly Involved In His Personal Life, Be Supportive Of Your Sons Interests And Passions. Much of what they describe, while conflict-laden and uncomfortable, doesn't seem bad enough . The nature want us to love our parents, it is a natural part of life. If your son has experienced any kind of childhood trauma, it can lead to emotional and behavioral issues that will often be taken out on you. Hopefully, these tips have helped you understand whats going on in your sons life, and how best to support him both as an adult and in your parent-child relationships. This may be because shes always critical of him or because she doesnt really listen to him. When Your Mother Makes Up Stories (Explained With Tips). Parenting by definition isnt overbearing or controlling. But if you notice that she never has anything interesting to say when she calls, that could signify that shes missing something in her life besides being your mom. They may feel like they are not good enough or that they do not deserve their mother's love. 6. They all get the same attention and affection and are encouraged to do the same things in life. Disrespecting boundaries may start at a young age and continue through adulthood. Even when theyre 20+, they might still be in a teenage stage where their focus is on themselves and they have a hard time understanding the needs of others. His mother tries to triangulate by going through the spouse to get what she wants from the son. Its important that you and others are there for your son if he needs someone to talk to about any issues hes experiencing. Young sons rebel for a reason but with enough work, you can mend a broken relationship. Here are five of the most common reasons sons treat their mothers poorly. The mother is highly dependent on her son for validation and self-worth. Another way to communicate effectively is to make sure that you are on the same page with your son. Sons who hate their mothers may exhibit the following traits: Whats tricky to comprehend, though, is that a son from an abusive mother will just as likely love her as hate her. Dysfunctional mother-son relationships can be challenging to overcome, but with the right support and guidance, they can become healthy and loving again. If hes into something like woodworking or knitting, be supportive by helping him find resources for learning more about it, or even just encouraging him to pursue his passion. Sometimes it is the child's spouse who demands distancing from family. Heres how to set boundaries for your in-laws, depositphotos.com/stock-photo-parents-talking-son-bench-park, Why Does God Remove Someone from Your Life? A man's relationship with his mother will differ from a significant other relationship / casual dating situation. Other times it may be due to an adult child becoming abusive and the parent needs to cut off ties for safety reasons. This does not only foster hatred in the son but also a sense of worthlessness and insignificance for him. The son feels like hes not good enough for his mother. Instead, years of suppressing negative emotions may affect the males development and ability to establish intimacy in future relationships. This relationship between a mother and son is full of frustration and anger. Some sons have personality issues that cause them to mistreat their mothers. You want to set boundaries for him and make sure he treats you with respect, but at the same time, you might have trouble letting go of the idea that he will always be a child and that any behavior is justwhat kids do.. However, if the mother favors one child over another or treats them differently, then this may indicate an unwell relationship between the two. But there are things that you can do to help your son understand how important his mother is to him, and how much she deserves to be treated with respect. It is possible for a man who hates his mother to still find happy relationships as an adult, but there will be a disordered component, too. Shannon is a mother of two boys and one girl. By learning to communicate effectively with each other, mothers and sons can build a strong foundation for a lasting relationship. It may also damage his relationships with other women. A majority of moms also believed their child's mental health or addiction issues played a role. Some moms may not be good moms and play a part in the child's disrespect for their mother. Parents need to encourage their children to individuate and find their own identities to develop healthy self-esteem and respect for others. A mother who controlled her son may feel it is okay to control his spouse, but this will create a further wedge in the relationship. This final act of estrangement is a characteristic of sons who hate their mothers. This is more about helping their son understand where his actions come from so that he can make better choices about treating others around him in the future. Its important to set healthy boundaries when it comes to parent-child relationships. Required fields are marked *. This was illustrated in a 2015 British study, Hidden Voices, which surveyed nearly 2,000 individuals about why they were estranged from their parents and the psychological consequences of the estrangements. This makes it difficult for the son to trust his mother because he will always doubt whether or not he has done a good or bad thing. But what happens when that relationship goes bad? Mothers Should Not Judge Their Sons Too Much. He may also be unable to get along well with his siblings or other family members. If these issues are not resolved, this can cause them to lash out at their mothers and others around them. You can also set up consequences for when these boundaries are crossed, but make sure theyre reasonable and that your son will actually follow through with them. If you believe your mother is treating you differently because she sees you as more masculine than feminine. If your sons relationship is making him unhappy, or he is having problems with his friends or family, this could indicate that other issues are at play. But unless he continues. There is a difference between the concerned mother giving advice out of love and the judgmental, pushy, and intrusive mother who just wants to tell her son what to do. Mothers are often the first person to love you, care for you, and to show you what it means to be a parent. Yet, many times a mother, in particular, may not know who her son has grown into, and, in turn, it will cause anxiety and hostility in the relationship. Everyone needs to recognize that this does not mean that a son does not love his mother. Controlling mothers also believe their sons are more of a possession than a child. Mother-son relationships can be complicated, and the specifics of a dysfunctional one vary widely. In these situations, the son may be left feeling confused and angry. If they are attracted to the opposite sex, that is, daughters like fathers, while sons like their mothers, that's positive Phallic psychosexual development, and this could help us explain why sons are closer to their mothers. A son whose mother is constantly prying may end up being constantly angry with his interfering parent. Dont try so hard to keep tabs on what hes doing or who hes hanging out with; instead, let him go out into the world and find his own way through life. Parents must understand the difference between these two scenarios so that they can take steps toward having a healthy relationship with their son if necessary and move past any problems that might arise between them in the future. Parents who have been alienated by those they raised. The one emotion boys are allowed to show? This can lead to a cycle of poor treatment and resentment. This can be evidenced by the son constantly seeking approval from his mother or always feeling like he has to live up to her expectations. A son who treats his mother poorly might feel too restricted or micromanaged, or he's going through some issues. With proper medical care, it is possible for sons and mothers to repair their relationship but this isnt guaranteed; and its especially difficult when adult sons with illness need to continue to live with their parents as a result. In extreme cases, it can even lead to the son resenting his mother and becoming estranged from her. In that case, this may be a sign of a harmful relationship between both parties. The son may have felt abandoned by his mother or that the mother was uninterested in him. If you must give criticism, do so constructively and without belittling your son. It can also be a way for the mother to control her son and make sure hes always including her in his plans. 4. Control is the issue at the heart of this conflict. Sometimes, its because their parents had trouble showing how they felt. 0. This leads to resentment from the son. Therefore, the sons feel the mothers dont have faith in them as adults, or of their ability to make good decisions. He doesnt talk about his mother with others in his relationships. Its important to talk to them and provide guidance, but not in a way that is too forceful or overbearing. There are few things more frustrating as a parent than being disrespected or treated poorly by one or more of our children. And no one thing always means sons will love or hate their mothers. You should also encourage him to express his feelings in a respectful way. Youve probably heard the saying Mother knows best, but that doesnt mean your son always wants to hear what you have to say. 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