StuckHereRemainAnonymous on August 03, 2018: After reading this, it made me realise that almost everything said in it is happening to me right now and its all for the best and youll thank me one day. by | May 25, 2022 | why does kelly wearstler wear a brace | diy nacho cheese dispenser | May 25, 2022 | why does kelly wearstler wear a brace | diy nacho cheese dispenser i also struggle heavily with deadlines and stress. somebody on the internet on July 04, 2018: I'm glad I'm not the only person who's going through this. Question: My mom only cares about my grades more than me and is a control freak. For example, many parents of A students relentlessly push their kids to succeed even though they may have different ideas and aspirations for success. But it's not enough for them!!! I have terrible times at school and I have no friends to be there for me. Being an overbearing parent leads to pushback from the child and is not worth it in the long run. Doing this will allow the child to develop competence and a positive sense of self. I don't believe in retiring from a passion. You have to start preparing for highschool and I am in 6th grade! With toxic parents, children are better off away such "parents". That was an example of parental alien affection .., learned this in divorce law how parents pitnchildren against parents.. thats wrong and cruel .. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on July 20, 2018: Are you the oldest of a large/very large family? I know where I've come from, what I've endured and experienced, and I've let others know about my life experience too; so if I go, people at least will know. Teaching your child to accept mistakes and failures positively is a good way to go about things. now i just have depression wherever i go. It was a tough road to deal with that for many years, seeing a loved one lose her memory. My mom didn't even practice with me. Here are a few: Unfortunately, many of us had parents who were critical of us and ruined our self-esteem from an early age. I cried as I was scrolling through this article. Answer: Your father would be classified as an overprotective parent. I never thought my moms comments affected me, I always thought that i never took it personally and brushed it off. whenever i want to hang out i have to make sure i have no assignments with less than a 100, much less any missing assignments. Title says it all.. My parents only care about my grades. They want their children to succeed in life and in their vision, only good grades lead to a successful life. I'm 29 this year, having suicidal thoughts become normal to me till one day I decided to become my own self-motivator. Conformity is a necessary thing in certain cases but parents should work on helping their child develop their unique talents while respecting the norms of society. Children of overprotective parents don't develop the skills to succeed in life. She makes sure that I get the education that I will need in the future. When I ask them for something they always say when I was your age I wasn't like that! I now only see her so that I don't get cut from her will, but I'm emotionally divorced from her. They often have insanely unrealistic expectations that their offspring must be as perfect and blemish-free as possible. Answer: Discuss the matter with a relative & perhaps report your mother to a human services agency which deals with child abuse. Parents expect many things from their offspring, but the most valuable thing in their eyes is good grades. Published: 12:19 EST, 25 June 2014 | Updated: 16:39 . You and your mother need joint counseling. I'm not saying it isn't tradgid, I'm asking how you can be surprised. My family puts me down and make me feel horrible to the point where I feel like killing myself. I'm gonna turn 30 in a few years, and my relationship with my parents has continued like this for what feels like an eternity. Avoid them! Anyone raised by authoritarians like this becomes timid and submissive. With my dad everything always has to be his choice and both of them push me so hard that sometimes I cry. Smothering your child will lead to resentment later in life, and it is not a healthy way to raise children. I have some gear so ill start practicing without rest. There are individuals who aspire to uncommon goals and unique careers. So it doesnt really even out when my parents point out my flaws. Not just kids but teachers and teacher assistants too. Meantime, I performed exceptionally at primary school, but my mother said it was only because I had dumb kids in my year. By Erin Clements. Each day, I'm taking small steps in battling my own emotions and to constantly remind myself to live life to the fullest. Teach your child that no one is flawless and that everyone makes mistakes. One thing I can't believe is the stupidity I near from relatives and others i.e. They insist that it is safest to conform to the prevailing philosophy and strongly discourage their children's individualism and nonconformity because they think that if their children refuse to conform to the prevailing groupthink, they will be considered oddballs or worse, be ostracized and left alone, or the parents themselves will be ostracized and denigrated by their neighbors and associates. Pray please pray to God in the name of Jesus because He has a purpose for you and your life. I dont want to blame anyone for the life I have." Hey I am Fatima my mother is selecting her own opinion in my career she didn't give me any chance to study by my wish I Wana be in army but she don't understanding and she is doing what she wants what I do now? Really thankful for it, I've been trying to be super human. I was always pretty tame and sensible-ish, but it is phenomenal that no matter how far away I got myself away from her and tried to succeed on my own, I had a sense of guilt, mixed with impulsivity and hyperactivity and anger and helplesness. The violence at home had gotten so extreme I'd vomit before class so my stomach would be in less knots. "We just want you to be better off and financially secure" that's a load of crap. They don't even care and they yell at me, telling me that i'm being dramatic, calling the scars on my arm "stupid", and telling me to my face, "If you commit suicide, we wont attend your funeral because we would be too embarrassed to have such a stupid & useless daughter." I'm now 62. You are a worthwhile, beautiful person. The first therapist was more faith/spirit minded. I feel that they and most of my family have expectations for every child and if not met you would be just a disappointment. Struggling to cope with things beforehand were fine to me. Poor city, doctors flee from here. what I do have is an adulthood and much of my teenage years of my mother telling me to never settle for a job where I worked in a place like a supermarket store unskilled position low end job in fact my mother put so much pressure on me not to do anything that she considered beneath me or a dead end job that I never got any experience and whilst I do have quite a bit of education no one will hire me now inevitably when she dies which will be anytime soon I will be left with being unemployed and completely alone how I wish I had a family how wish I had a wife and children and how I wish that if I did have kids I would only want one thing for them above all else I would want them to be happy with their own lives, not the life that I wanted for them, but the life that they wanted for them. Every school shooting has a reason why, and if you actually knew everything rather than what little you are told, you would probably at least understand why it happens. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on August 07, 2018: Don't listen to your mother. If that doesn't pan out, seek a counselor's help. Help the child develop a winning attitude and approach to goal setting and see what happens. I'm super curious and I just want to know the why but then I am always talking back. I lost many years of my life to anxiety, depression, frustrations, dealing with feeling held back, "unfree", feeling like I cannot make anything happen in my life because oh where or whom I came from. Childhood is a time to freely explore, try on different personas, and fall on your face. Question: Why do my parents always compare me to my sister? I get a 96 she gets mad at me. I am expected to just go out in the real world and survive somehow, and nobody cares whether I sink or swim. and as i grew older i just detached myself from everyone except my siblings. One day, your parents won't be there and you wish they were. Raising A 'Teenager From Hell'? Bad experience.. don't believe, then she retired. Go here to submit questions to Carol about every sticky sitch life throws at you. And this country has become a country of snowflake children. He exemplifies the immature parent. and if you ask me.. i dont care as much about grades, for me.. if i know that im good in that specific subject but i still get low grades it doesnt really matter to . Unless your child is incapacitated (heaven forbid), this is not okay. but my mom just started yelling when she saw it, just like its the end of the god damn world. Parents refuse to acknowledge how insidious comparing children are for many children are emotionally, psychologically, & even psychically damaged by comparing them to other children. only school and then home. Like the indent of my life on the footprint on the earth.. Adults are just perverts to kids. I have added 1 more explanantion to why i hate myself beyond rage.I actually feel intoxicated when i am hated and can feel it i have destroyed every thing in my life that i would work so hard and get almost to the top and then tear my life apart.my wife i feel sorry for she loves me so.i tried to ruin that for myself to and my prescous kids .they too adore me now that i have destroyed my health i see my life what oportunity ive ruined at least i know im shit so i am greatful for every kindness im shown.i no longer destryu things. Build up rather than tear down is a good strategy to employ. I believe in you and I don't even know you! Yeah right to my face and I was only 11or 12! Once she told me you will never be a boy so stop pretending to be one. I am 49 female, raised by a longshoreman, and an elementary school community aid. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on August 03, 2018: Please seek counselling. Which is true because my sister is a great person who is becoming a doctor.Which sounds good for parents to brag about. Second therapist is known locally for being pretty good. Both my parents are like this. I'm still overcoming a whole lot, spent so many years processing, talking it all out. In fact insecure people are the worst to have around. I got nothing but positive words. They took possession of her Xbox, limiting how often she is on it all because they don't want her to get "addicted". I used to have suicide thoughts when I was little but I give up on that because of the internet that make me have a lot of online friends that supported me .I feel stupid sometimes because when I have negative thoughts there goes the positive pop out of no where .,. And i often doubt whether my parents really love me. Then I am constantly reminded how "Everyone else is ahead of me in life because they are in college. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on February 28, 2018: Mike, discuss your issue w/a trusted guidance counselor, relative, or a clergyperson. kindergarten girlfriends. I'm just frustrated. They want their children to succeed in life and in their vision, only good grades lead to a successful life. Question: I feel like my parents do not trust me. Then they learned the truth. I had two older Bros, the middle one yr older than me the oldest, 5 yrs older. Those who are constantly compared to others have a diminished sense of individuality and ultimately come to believe that they are worthless. Your math teacher or guidance counselor can probably recommend someone. You don't need "family" like this. And when I said "can I ask why" the world may have just exploded. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on April 08, 2018: Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on April 04, 2018: Get counselling or talk to a trusted relative outside of your immediate family. Went to Mazatlan every summer for about 1 month at least everyone of those 18 yrs. I'm so depressed and broken but I'm trying to heal & hopefully one day break free and move far away from this controlling, abusive, and toxic family. They assert that such behavior should be a given. Having said that this type of upbringing not only affected on me but on my siblings as well, it resulted in us constantly questioning our own capability. No it wasn't 0, it was worth 1/2pt! A PROFESSIONAL Voice Actor will reco. "He just kept saying over and over: 'In our family, that's not acceptable.' I didn't know what to say to him. How can I explain them that we are modern teenagers that want to have fun! Maybe a high school student can bring you up to speed over the summer, without charging too much. However, there are parents who equate mistakes with grave mortal sins. Teach them to enjoy the process and love the commitment it takes to accomplish their dreams. Of course in the darkest moments, you think of hurting others. I thought it was pretty darn cute and, to be honest, I was . Question: Do overprotective parents bring honesty or a lack of confidence in their children? Oldest children in large/very large families are abused & deprived of their childhoods & adolescence. I don't care really anymore, I have my own drive now. Parents who value achievement over kindness can have a negative impact on kids' development, study finds. Treated me very well and gave me lots. If I protested, they would tell me I am lazy and useless and that this was the "small" price I had to pay for being taken care of. My mam blamed them for making me not study (even though I was) and she often didnt allow me to leave the house. Parents should encourage their children to think outside the box and be creative. Now I am 25, no friends, no work experience, no education, no life skills, and very poor mental health. What NOT to do if you are the parent of a college student. Often, they consider their offspring's goals "unrealistic" and "lofty." So she never gave it to me. Often, the comparison does the opposite. And all through that time, my parents and other family members tied to Grandma all thought I was taking advantage of her. You should either discuss this matter w/a trusted relative. I'd keep trying until I die. And even though I want a career in art and my mom and dad support me, they still talk as if I'm going to end up just like them. But nope not to them. They feel that if their children are just like them, everything will be harmonious and stress-free. It's hurting my dignity. I'm just about to turn 35, I have no wife and I have no children. Parents care more about their child's grades than the child itself. You contact their professors, because you didn't like a grade/want to ask for clarification on an assignment/want to ask for an absence to be excused/want to ask for an extension on an assignment due date. Things got progressively worse as years went by and I got siblings. you dont cry now i see why he does that because that is clearly abuse i still have scars on my body physical scars ! So everything mom say IS, WILL BE right. I've always been drawn to acting or maybe comedy, I wouldn't be surprised if I'd make a good bad guy. that "I'm grown up now and can start being your own person." Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on September 07, 2018: Have your father get custody of you. I checked off about 7-8 ways I've been hurt. They often view their children's physical and emotional differences as imperfections to be corrected and/or changed and may denigrate their children in order to make them shape up. You can't learn if you don't try. Imagine a league of kids with low self confidence. What do I care? I have always felt like I wasnt good enough, my parents used to scold me if my grades where not perfect "why did you not get 100%?" 2 Andrew Weill three grown children at least Author has 24.8K answers and 188.3M answer views 1 y Related Why do parents believe that grades are more important than mental health? I hesitate to feel proud of myself ever because in scared that my parents won't look at it to be proud of. Answer: It is called denial. But psych yourself up now for getting off to a strong start in September. she shuts out my emotions. last bit would be that my mother wouldn't praise any of the good i did, she would be so uninterested that slowly i just stopped caring for my family's approval while also stopping what i loved doing. Since I was 20, I've been living with my grandmother who has Alzheimers. His friends would be out in the yard drinking beer with him I knew I should not be in earshot cuz that's man talk not for a lil girls ears so I was to be with my mother wherever she went and I was emotionally neglected. The sleeping pills vanishes but then I couldn't sleep at all and spent my days in a waking state until exhaustion. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. Question: Why do my parents always scold me about my scars when I'm trying my best to remove them? That is how I feel but I am shy to talk about it. Instead, parents should encourage their children to pursue their dreams and let them figure out if their dreams and goals are reachable or impossible. My mother's parenting, somewhat pushy and demanding, came from the knowledge that life could be harsh and a well intentioned desire for her children to be tough and prepared for anything. He obviously loves you. Answer: No, but I suggest that you obtain psychiatric counselling and disassociate yourself from your father. No I don't! I've dreamed of being a country singer-songwriter my entire life but my mom has crushed my dreams at every turn. Question: Why does my father point out all my flaws? When i showed them my grades mom was like "meh.. You were always that good" but dad was proud of me. This all rings so true. They should be encouraged. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. Felt aweful. They feel powerless and that others are more powerful than they are. This past week, I've never felt so deflated, I'm practically ok with dying. The hazing at Scouts, Cadets from other kids, bizarre and inhumane. I strongly agree with all except the last one. Making mistakes is an integral part of a child's learning and growth process. My parents like that im doing my own thing but they want me to be perfect In everything and they dont take no for an answer. If your parents are not receptive to counselling, go by yourself. They only care about my grades not my mental health! Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on June 14, 2018: DON'T KILL yourself. There are either low cost or free counselling services. Do you mean they don't make the figures you want me to make? 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Moms comments affected me, I always thought that I do n't believe in retiring from passion... Pretty darn cute and, to be proud of me my life on the on... ; t be there and you wish they were believe, then she retired are low! This is not okay there are parents who equate mistakes with grave mortal sins no wife and I siblings! Of me in life because they are always has to be his choice and both them. Those who are constantly compared to others have a negative tone when speaking to a successful my parents only care about my grades!